The Journey to Sobriety

It’s a familiar struggle, isn’t it?

Before we dive in, let me clarify a few things: 1) I’m not into prescriptive, self-help writing these days. Everything that follows is directed at myself as much as you. 2) My experience with digital addiction closely relates to my journey of sobriety from alcohol. The similarities in awareness and support methods are very relevant to me right now. 3) If you're only interested in the digital aspect, skip ahead; if you're eager to bypass the alcohol discussion, that's intriguing. 4) I don't often post on Medium anymore; for more content, follow me on Substack.

In the fall of 2019, as I was approaching sobriety, a shift was occurring. At that stage, my alcohol intake was limited to wine during meals, but the cognitive dissonance surrounding my drinking habits was becoming overwhelming. I felt repelled by alcohol and increasingly attracted to sobriety.

Cognitive dissonance, in this context, refers to the internal struggle and discomfort of engaging in behavior that I knew was detrimental to my health. I was aware of the facts: alcohol is a neurotoxin that can lead to various health issues, including cancer, cognitive decline, and exacerbated mental health problems.

However, this understanding transcended mere intellectual acknowledgment; it was a deep, soulful realization. I recognized that my choices were not only mine but also reflected the struggles of my ancestors and previous generations. I had the power to either continue this cycle or to break free.

Choosing to drink meant accepting a path of self-destruction. I knew that, despite societal norms labeling my drinking as "normal," I was harming myself. Physical consequences and intellectual awareness contributed to my decision, but what ultimately pushed me to change was a profound realization: continuing to drink was impairing my mental clarity, dulling my senses, and diminishing my overall vitality.

The pain of living in conflict with my true self became unbearable. Guilt and shame followed me as I continued to drink, even when I recognized the harm it caused. This ongoing struggle had persisted for years, but it reached a pivotal point in 2019 when I started drinking less frequently, aligning with society’s standards of moderation.

Moderation complicated my situation; a dramatic crisis might have provided clarity. Instead, I needed to summon the internal strength to say, “No more.”

During this transitional phase, I immersed myself in literature and podcasts focused on sobriety. I craved the stories of those who had transformed their lives by making the singular choice to stop drinking. The endless cycle of questioning—“Should I drink tonight? How much?”—was draining.

Ultimately, I enrolled in two online sobriety programs and consumed recovery content voraciously. Each story I encountered intensified my desire to make a definitive choice. After several months of wavering resolutions, I finally committed to sobriety.

I began with a ten-day alcohol detox. At the end of those ten days, I felt revitalized and decided to extend it to thirty. Approaching day thirty, I remembered that ninety days was often a transformative milestone, so I continued. After reaching ninety days, I poured out the remaining wine in my fridge. As my sober days accumulated—one hundred, six months, a year—I found no desire to return to drinking.

Reflecting on this journey now, I see parallels with my current struggle: a discomforting cognitive dissonance around technology use. I am exploring what strategies helped me quit alcohol to aid my path toward digital sobriety.

I suspect many of you are facing similar challenges, caught in the cycle of justifying unhealthy habits, whether it’s about alcohol, food, social media, or other distractions. If you recognize yourself in this struggle, I’m here to support you as you navigate your own path.

As I investigate my relationship with technology, I’ve realized that my digital habits aren’t as excessive as they could be. I haven’t watched TV since 2019, and I keep my phone largely on airplane mode. I use it primarily for essential functions—alarm, camera, and navigation—avoiding social media and email.

I canceled my Facebook account in early 2020, finding it to be a waste of time. I’m not on platforms like Twitter, TikTok, or Snapchat. My personal Instagram account is intentionally limited, with all engagement features turned off. I’ve also drastically reduced the newsletters I subscribe to, opting to support only a few writers whose work resonates with me.

My digital organization has improved significantly. I strive for inbox zero, although this sometimes leads to obsessive checking. I’ve also learned to disengage from online negativity, refraining from defending others against criticism.

In essence, while I’m managing my time online better than average, I recognize that the societal norms around technology use are flawed. I refuse to accept justifications that imply I need these platforms to connect or promote my work.

As a society, we are entrenched in a cycle of addiction, often rationalizing our behavior. Regardless of the excuses we concoct, they do not alter the reality that our habits shape us in profound ways—often detracting from genuine connection and fulfillment.

I’m not advocating for the complete abandonment of technology, but I believe it’s crucial to acknowledge the problems at hand. I’m aware of the harm my habits can inflict on my overall well-being, and I’m committed to making changes.

As I sit with this awareness, I am implementing various strategies to reduce my digital consumption. Shutting down my business Instagram account feels like a step in the right direction, and I may soon do the same for my personal account.

I don’t intend to quit email entirely, but I aim to reshape my relationship with it. I yearn for more time in nature instead of behind a screen.

I’m not providing step-by-step guidance; rather, I’m sharing my current state in hopes it resonates with you. If you seek practical advice, I’ve outlined four steps in a recent post for paid subscribers.

Meanwhile, I’ll continue to explore how this digital struggle intersects with my past experiences of addiction, including food-related challenges.

For now, take care of yourselves and do what feels right for you.

In integrity & alchemy, Dana

P.S. One habit I find beneficial is following a curated selection of podcasts. I subscribe to ten and occasionally explore others. I’ve recently been captivated by interviews with Derek Sivers, who exemplifies a different approach to life and technology.

The first video titled "QUIT DRINKING MOTIVATION - The Most Eye Opening 20 Minutes Of Your Life" serves as a compelling reminder of the transformative power of choosing sobriety.

The second video, "QUIT DRINKING MOTIVATION - The Most Eye Opening 60 Minutes Of Your Life," further emphasizes the profound effects of embracing a sober lifestyle.