How to Eliminate Toxic Beliefs That Are Holding You Back
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Recognizing Toxic Beliefs
This narrative highlights my journey with toxic beliefs and how they sabotaged my life—offering insights on how you can avoid similar pitfalls.
Imagine reaching the twilight of your life only to find that your own thoughts were the barriers to achieving your dreams. How would that realization impact you? Well, something akin to this happened to me recently. Although my life continues, I feel a profound sense of loss.
Why? Just two weeks ago, I uncovered that my own mindset was the reason I lost someone incredibly important to me. Let me share my story.
Storytime
A few months back, I connected with an extraordinary ballerina-turned-therapist on a dating app. It was surreal. She had an enchanting smile, an hourglass figure that seemed to defy time, and a laugh that could brighten the dullest of days.
Not only was she breathtakingly beautiful, but she also treated everyone, particularly me, with an affection reminiscent of a caring mother. She embodied everything I had ever desired, and we both recognized it.
As we began dating, I fell deeply—think life alert levels of infatuation.
I made an effort to see her frequently, showered her with affection, and craved communication. While she appreciated my enthusiasm, it eventually became overwhelming. I took a step back, and we officially became a couple, but this only exacerbated the situation.
Now that I had her as my girlfriend, I developed an intense fear of losing her, transforming into a character out of Star Wars. Why? I genuinely believed she was too good for me, that I didn’t deserve her.
Thus, I ensured I was always available, made no mistakes, and was overly generous—all in an attempt to keep her from leaving. Ironically, I was unaware that treating someone like royalty can inadvertently position yourself as a subordinate in their eyes.
She began to feel stifled and requested some space. Ironically, when I granted her that space, my neediness only intensified, further diminishing her attraction. Eventually, she expressed that my feelings of unappreciation were unfounded, leading to our breakup.
Our separation wasn't due to mismatched desires, incompatibility, or a lack of attraction. Instead, it stemmed solely from the toxic beliefs that dictated my actions and ultimately undermined our relationship.
This moment of clarity led me to understand a crucial lesson I am eager to share with you: how to clear the mental clutter that obstructs your path to happiness.
Clearing the Mental Clutter
Beliefs can shape our reality, often without our conscious intervention. For instance, if I believe I will fail, I may not even try, resulting in failure. Conversely, if I believe I will succeed, I will put in the effort, leading to success.
Fortunately, beliefs are merely thoughts we repeat until they become ingrained. The remedy, therefore, is to do the opposite: consistently affirm the beliefs we wish to adopt and actively seek evidence to support them until they take root.
This approach combines principles from psychocybernetics and a theory I learned from Hormozi regarding the accumulation of undeniable evidence.
For example, when I embarked on my writing career, I wanted to cultivate discipline. However, I struggled with self-doubt. To combat this, each morning, I dedicated just two minutes to meditation—creating tangible evidence of my self-discipline.
Afterward, I would affirm, “I just meditated; therefore, I am disciplined.” I repeated this practice for several weeks until I eventually recognized a shift—not only in the mornings but throughout my day.
Why did this happen? The belief had become ingrained, and resisting temptations felt instinctual. I had established small pieces of evidence supporting the truth I wished to embody. Once I internalized this truth, it initiated a positive feedback loop.
To clarify, the process is as follows:
- Identify the belief you wish to adopt.
- Create a small piece of evidence that demonstrates this belief is becoming true.
- Affirm this belief immediately afterward.
For instance:
- I want to be disciplined.
- I took an action requiring discipline.
- I am disciplined.
Gradually, this is how you dismantle toxic beliefs, replacing them with empowering ones that align with your aspirations.
Further Insights
The Villain Arc — Transforming Your Breakup into Growth
Your breakup could be the catalyst for profound personal development; you might not realize it yet.
The Surest Path to Creating a Fulfilling Life
Have you noticed how pursuing things you believe will bring happiness often leads to disappointment once achieved?
Mastering Discipline
Here’s what I achieved through the strategies I’m about to share with you.
The first video provides guidance on how to eliminate toxic individuals from your life, allowing you to focus on positive influences.
The second video discusses five toxic beliefs that you must eradicate for a happier life, offering valuable insights for personal growth.