Chapter 1: The Art of Dialogue

From a young age, I found joy in conversation. Even when no one was around to listen, I created two imaginary companions, Jack and Flower. I believed in their existence until a pivotal moment at the playground when a basketball failed to bounce back.

Silly old me, right? To me, speaking has always felt genuine. I can’t hold back my vulnerabilities; they pour out as I strive to connect and listen to others' truths. I thrive on deep conversations, lively debates, shared laughter, and even quiet whispers. Wherever I go, I find ways to spark dialogue.

In my early years, my curiosity led to innocent interactions. My aunt recently reminisced about a walk we took that lasted forty-five minutes instead of the intended five, as I took time to converse with worms and butterflies. Isn’t nature a vibrant communicator, speaking through the rustling leaves, the buzzing wings, or the gentle flow of a stream?

As I transitioned into adulthood, I realized that talking had become trivial.

I discovered I had to learn certain social behaviors and decode social scripts.

At the age of twenty-four, while grappling with a divorce, I recognized that silence wasn’t solving anything. A psychiatrist in Vienna told me, “It may not seem logical to you, but it makes sense for many, so we’re expected to play along…”

Pretending is draining. Small talk feels exhausting. Polite exchanges and forced laughter can feel more like performances than true conversations.

When I was diagnosed with ADHD at twenty, I found myself standing on the edge of my fire escape, overwhelmed by anxiety that taunted me, urging me to leap. My coping mechanisms included overeating, substance use, and a sense of ungratefulness for my otherwise privileged upbringing.

Speaking became challenging. My words often offended rather than invited conversation.

“I disagree.”

“I don’t.”

“No.”

These phrases, which I thought would promote dialogue, instead sparked defensiveness because I often disagreed with others—and myself! Despite my desire to learn and connect, I felt isolated and frustrated for not being “easy” to talk to.

I eventually realized that my mood disorders were linked to my undiagnosed ADHD. I had developed various coping strategies to mask my struggles with emotional regulation and daily life management.

My mother sought help, and through a friend, I obtained a comprehensive psychological assessment that included cognitive tests, therapy sessions, medical evaluations, and an exploration of my social and academic experiences.

Today, ADHD is frequently discussed in various forms—social media posts, podcasts, and self-help literature. While I appreciate the increased awareness, I often find that much of this content lacks depth and can be overwhelming.

Where is the genuine interaction? Where are the questions that spark deeper understanding? Where’s the flow of conversation that allows us to connect in unexpected ways?

We don’t all have to share the same opinions or experiences. We simply need to communicate.

I miss Jack and Flower; they were never real, but I long for the children on the playground who made me feel understood. I cherish the memory of a girl who offered her friendship despite our differences. “I can be your friend if you like dragons,” she said, to which I replied, “I don’t like dragons.” She responded, “That’s okay. We don’t have to like the same things; we just have to like each other.”

This simple yet profound friendship marked my formative years. Though we played together for a time, our bond remained strong through occasional messages celebrating our lives.

True connection stems from understanding one another, even if it's just a small bit. It’s found in the stories we share, the nuances in our voices, and the expressions on our faces.

I’m looking into your eyes, eager to hear your thoughts. The world can be overwhelming and lonely, so please, speak up!

Writing is my way of communicating. I adore the power of voice, storytelling, and the flexibility of language. Let’s engage, let’s share differing views, and that’s perfectly fine with me!

I’m here to build connections on Medium. If this piece resonated with you, feel free to explore my other writings and drop a comment or a clap so I can discover your work too! Let’s start a conversation!

Chapter 2: The Need for Meaningful Conversations

In today's fast-paced world, meaningful conversations have become increasingly rare.

The first video titled "We Need to Talk: How To Have Conversations That Matter" by Celeste Headlee emphasizes the importance of engaging in conversations that foster genuine connections.

Meaningful dialogue is essential for personal growth and understanding.

Simon Sinek's video, "We Need DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS," highlights the value of navigating tough discussions to build stronger relationships and foster empathy among individuals.