Chapter 1: Understanding Sobriety Options

Are Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings the sole path to sobriety? In my view, there are numerous resources and approaches available for those seeking to overcome addiction.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." - Alcoholics Anonymous

Back in 2010, I entered rehabilitation for a month and was introduced to AA. Each morning, we attended early meetings, and I felt a wave of apprehension as we headed to the first one. My preconceptions led me to imagine a gloomy church filled with elderly men.

While that perception held some truth, I soon realized that the attendees were individuals from a variety of backgrounds. If you haven't attended a meeting, here's a typical format:

First, participants often recite the serenity prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

A meeting leader guides the session, directing members to read various texts, such as the 12 Steps and the 12 Traditions of AA. Often, they will read from The Daily Reflections, which provides daily insights.

Then, everyone introduces themselves, usually stating their name and that they are an alcoholic. “Hi, my name is Michele, and I’m an alcoholic.” I would cringe at this, as I still struggle with that label.

Some meetings include the tradition of awarding chips, which symbolize milestones in sobriety, ranging from newcomers (under 30 days) to those with decades of sobriety. I’ve never seen anyone receive a chip for more than 40 years, but I know it’s possible.

Following this, the floor is opened for sharing experiences, strengths, and hopes, although some may simply vent frustrations.

As the meeting wraps up, participants conclude with a prayer, often repeating the serenity prayer or choosing another.

Reflecting on my first meeting, I found it surprisingly religious despite being told otherwise. The concept of a "higher power" was frequently framed as "God," although some suggested I could even choose a "doorknob" as my higher power, which I found absurd.

Then came the daunting moment of sharing. If you've read my work, you know that public speaking terrifies me. Having all eyes on me? No, thank you.

I stumbled through my first attempt to share, my nerves overwhelming me. I couldn’t recall what I said, but I was certain it was short. The pressure of hearing, “If you don’t share in a meeting, you will die,” felt excessive, especially for someone newly navigating sobriety.

After 30 days of treatment and numerous meetings, I returned home, where I was told I needed to continue attending AA or risk relapse. The fear of dying pushed me to attend, despite my distaste for the experience.

I despised going to AA, primarily due to my discomfort with the religious elements and the requirement to speak. I would have preferred to listen quietly instead.

I maintained sobriety for over a year until I was diagnosed with breast cancer, which disrupted my AA attendance for several years.

In the period from 2010 to 2015, I perceived treatment and AA as the only means to achieve sobriety. It was rare to hear of anyone succeeding independently.

Each time I contemplated sobriety, I felt pressured to return to AA, believing it was my only option. This sense of obligation often left me feeling defeated and resentful, almost deterring me from seeking sobriety altogether.

Fast forward to my most recent attempt to achieve sobriety, which began on January 7, 2021, during the pandemic. With in-person meetings on hold, I found the idea of virtual meetings appealing, as it alleviated my fear of speaking in front of a crowd.

However, I soon discovered that speaking on Zoom wasn't much easier, with multiple faces staring back at me. Yet, the people in AA had a significant impact on me. While not everyone resonated, many were genuinely supportive individuals who had overcome immense challenges and built fulfilling lives.

Their intent was clear: to assist newcomers in their sobriety journey, with no ulterior motive other than their own recovery.

Although I wasn't fond of sharing virtually, it felt manageable since participation wasn't enforced. I appreciated the option to turn off my camera if needed.

As I navigated this journey, I felt a strong resolve to quit drinking. I surrendered to the idea of continuing with AA, as it was preferable to the feelings of despair associated with drinking.

I formed meaningful friendships with some incredible women during this time, feeling a sense of belonging I hadn't experienced before. Many of the attendees were older, but I finally found my tribe.

It was also during this time that I discovered trailblazers in sobriety such as Annie Grace, Laura McKowen, and Holly Whitaker. These influential women, who have chosen paths outside of AA, have authored impactful books and launched enlightening podcasts. Their insights opened my eyes to the fact that AA isn’t the only route to sobriety.

Other options exist, like SMART Recovery, which appeals to those who prefer a non-religious approach. I found comfort in one-on-one interactions, such as therapy sessions, where I was encouraged to pursue sobriety in a way that felt right for me.

Throughout my first year of sobriety, I delved into over 30 recovery books, attended both virtual and a few in-person AA meetings each week, and worked through the steps with my sponsor, who has become a dear friend.

For me, the value of attending AA lay in these connections and the support I received. I also engaged in Facebook support groups, and upon reaching one year of sobriety, I launched my own Instagram account to document my journey. Writing became a crucial outlet for me, despite not considering myself a writer initially.

I admired many sober writers and thought, "If they can do it, why not me?" Writing has proven to be a lifeline for my recovery.

While I don’t align with the religious aspects of AA, I still attend a virtual meeting weekly, mainly for the community and shared stories.

So, is AA the only option for sobriety? Absolutely not. Thousands have found success through alternative routes.

I genuinely believe in integrating various resources for my recovery. In the past, solely relying on AA wasn’t effective for me—perhaps because I wasn’t ready.

What works for me includes my virtual AA meetings, reading recovery literature, engaging in the vibrant sober Instagram community, listening to weekly podcasts, therapy, spending time with sober friends, journaling, and writing.

I hold a deep respect for Alcoholics Anonymous, recognizing its significant impact on many lives. However, I think it’s time for a transformation, especially as it approaches its 90th anniversary.

If placing your faith in God aids your recovery, then embrace it. But it’s vital to acknowledge that sobriety isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey.

If AA resonates with you, fantastic! If you’re contemplating sobriety, I highly encourage you to attend a meeting and see if it aligns with your needs.

I am grateful to have discovered what works for me. There are options available, and you won't perish if you choose not to speak during a meeting.

Ultimately, the most crucial aspect is your genuine desire for sobriety. Without that commitment, achieving and maintaining sobriety can be a struggle.

If you found my narrative compelling, consider subscribing to Medium for more stories and articles.

Thank you for reading!

With love, Michele

Chapter 2: Alternative Paths to Sobriety

Explore whether AA is the only way to maintain sobriety in this insightful video.

Discover personal stories about quitting alcohol and staying sober through Alcoholics Anonymous in this compelling video.