Chapter 1: Understanding Kept Relationships

Who are the so-called "kept women"?

The term refers to individuals—traditionally women and increasingly younger men, often labeled as "toy boys"—who rely financially on their lovers or benefactors. In these arrangements, it is the partner providing support who shoulders all the economic responsibilities associated with the relationship.

Typically, the benefactor seeks physical intimacy and sometimes emotional connection, while the kept partner is primarily motivated by the promise of material gain. This dynamic often stems from unresolved childhood issues, such as the Electra or Oedipus complexes, compelling these individuals to recreate a parental relationship with their benefactor, often resembling a father-daughter dynamic, where the "daddy" fulfills their material needs.

The allure of financial power can breed envy; the kept partner may try to assert dominance through seduction. A stripper might reveal that her attraction to her profession lies in wielding power over men who desire her but cannot possess her. Similarly, a kept woman tests her allure and influence on her benefactor, enjoying the transient power of her beauty and charm.

However, this relationship paradigm places the kept individual in a precarious position, as their identity becomes tied to their benefactor's financial support. Many kept partners attempt to offset their feelings of inadequacy through self-affirmation and seduction, viewing these as triumphs over men. Deep down, there is often a belief that success is unattainable without the backing of a powerful figure, a belief rooted in an upbringing where women's authority is diminished.

Moreover, the typical kept woman struggles with long-term aspirations. She often seeks immediate gratification rather than pursuing educational or career goals, leading her to seek out a wealthy benefactor to fulfill her desires.

It’s important to note that I do not judge this lifestyle choice; everyone has the right to choose their path. Nevertheless, the reality remains that as long as a kept woman retains her youth and appeal, she will likely receive generous gifts and experiences from her benefactor. However, if she fails to navigate this relationship wisely, the inevitable loss of beauty and allure can lead to isolation and a lack of self-sufficiency.

Expectations of acquiring significant assets, such as cars or homes, through a benefactor's generosity are often misguided. While a select few may succeed, many wealthy individuals display stinginess, demanding the return of gifts if the relationship sours and even resorting to threats or revenge.

I strongly believe that only those who have achieved a certain level of success can engage with affluent partners on equal footing. Those of lower status may be vulnerable to exploitation by their sponsors. This is starkly illustrated in the unfortunate narratives of young models who have faced abuse from powerful lovers.

Thus, one should be cautious of the illusion that a relationship with a wealthy benefactor can lead to a life of ease. As the saying goes, “beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” It's vital to cultivate self-reliance and self-respect; when you hold these values, you invite respect from others.

The first video, "The Bridge to Brilliance" featuring Nadia Lopez, discusses the importance of empowerment and self-worth, emphasizing the need for individuals to recognize their potential beyond external dependencies.

Chapter 2: The Illusions of Dependency

The second video, "How Nyamekye Wilson is unleashing the brilliance of Black women in STEM," highlights the significance of self-empowerment and breaking free from societal constraints, reinforcing the idea that true success comes from within rather than through dependency on others.