Phrases That "Buy" Him More Time

I have a general rule of thumb: after eight weeks of dating (unless you're in a long-distance situation), it's time to initiate "the talk." I won't delve into the reasons here, but you can find more details in my article linked below.

The Ideal Number of Dates to Encourage Commitment in Eight Weeks

Find the right pace to keep a guy engaged and interested.

If a man isn't making you exclusive after two months, it could be due to several factors:

• He lacks fear of losing you.
• He isn't interested in a relationship.
• He doesn't perceive the risk of keeping you available.
• He is uncertain if you're the right partner.
• He seeks better options.

You might wonder, "Why does he continue to treat me well?" The answer is simple: he enjoys the perks of a relationship without the obligations. If any of the aforementioned points resonate, he will likely stall for time because it benefits him.

You may hear phrases such as:

• "I'm not sure what I want, but if I were to commit, it would be to you."
• "Let's just see how things unfold."
• "I prefer to take things slow."
• "While I'm not seeking anything serious, I'd be open if the right person comes along."

These statements are what I refer to as "Hopeful comments." A confused woman often remains hopeful, which can keep her anchored in an unfulfilling situation. If his goal is to maintain this facade without commitment, he will foster hope that it might evolve into something more serious—a clear indicator that you might be getting played.

The Negotiation Tactic

In my resources, I emphasize the dynamics of human interaction, particularly within dating contexts. Essentially, we all desire something, but it comes with a cost. We assess the pros and cons of investing in a relationship, and if we don't see sufficient value, we often negotiate.

A classic example of this is when a man acts casually, hoping you will remain interested. If you call his bluff by stepping away, he may return with a tempting offer, like a date or increased effort, hoping to renegotiate.

Signs that you're entering a negotiation phase include:

• He invests minimal effort in the relationship (his actions convey that he may not view you as worth the investment).
• There's frequent bluff-calling from both parties. For instance, he may claim he isn't looking for something serious, testing whether you will accept that. If you express your discontent and leave, he may come back with statements like, "Let's see where this goes," which is the first sign you should reject.

At this point, it's crucial to remember: never negotiate with a guy. For more insights or personalized advice, check out my guides or consider working with me.

Gaslighting by Accusing You of Moving Too Fast

Many individuals, including yourself, may feel that eight weeks is insufficient time to get to know someone before entering a relationship. In reality, it can be the perfect timeframe, especially if both individuals are emotionally available and seeking a genuine connection.

Men often exploit this period to extend their own comfort. They might gaslight you by asserting, "We've only been talking for eight weeks; that's too fast for me. I can't get to know someone that quickly." If he claims he wants to proceed slowly due to past hurts, it typically indicates emotional unavailability. After a decade in this field, I can assure you, this pattern is consistent.

If a guy insists it's moving too quickly, pose this question: "I understand. How long does it typically take you to get to know someone or enter a relationship?" Chances are, he won't appreciate this inquiry and will provide vague answers such as, "I just know when I know," or "I prefer to let things unfold naturally."

You can be certain that a man is emotionally unavailable and uninterested in a relationship if he fails to recognize the risk you're taking by allowing him to keep you in limbo for months without any form of commitment. Simply saying, "I'm only talking to you," is often a deceptive tactic.

Life Circumstances as Excuses

One of the cleverest tactics men use—one that deserves acknowledgment—is their ability to leverage logic as a way to avoid commitment. They may downplay prior circumstances that were not an issue when they sought your attention, but now, they suddenly become significant.

I've encountered numerous justifications, such as:

• "I'm in a difficult financial situation and can't commit right now." Did this financial crisis just arise in the past month?
• "I'm your boss/coworker, and I don't believe this is a good idea." Were you not aware of your position when you initiated this connection?
• "I can't handle long-distance." Did you not realize this was the arrangement when you traveled to see me?

You get the picture. Men frequently use these rationalizations, and you might find yourself thinking, "But he's being honest; he has a big case at work and no time for a relationship."

WRONG! He simply doesn't want a relationship with you.

Complaining About Labels

As previously mentioned, men often shy away from labels as they feel constricted by them. They desire all the benefits of a relationship while evading the responsibilities. That's why you might hear statements like:

• "We're exclusive; I'm only talking to you."

Yet, when you request a title, they respond:

• "What more do you want? Why do you need a title? I'm already exclusive with you."

A man who grumbles about labels but remains in your life likely believes he holds the advantageous position and has no intention of altering it.

For more in-depth information on this topic or to explore working with me, click the link here.

Have a wonderful day!