The Surprising Benefits of Dating Unattractive Men

Recent studies reveal that pursuing relationships with men who aren't conventionally attractive might lead to greater happiness.

In an unexpected turn of events, Dr. Fauci captivated my attention this week. Typically, I’m not drawn to men who raise their voices, yet his passionate exchange with Sen. Rand Paul caught my interest. I found myself exclaiming, “Go for it, Tony!” as I reveled in the moment.

I often fantasize about a heroic figure in a crisis—together in isolation, sharing knowledge about immunology while he amusingly adjusts his glasses. (Sigh) While many might agree that Fauci has a certain appeal, he doesn't embody the classic charm of someone like George Clooney.

His wife, Christine Grady, would likely support my feelings. In a recent discussion, she stated, “I’ve always found him attractive.” Their relationship showcases a deep bond over shared interests such as food and leisure activities. Grady seems genuinely satisfied with her partner.

This raises the question: Do average-looking men bring more happiness to their partners?

Ladies, new research may prompt you to reconsider passing on that less conventionally attractive guy. In a study, researchers surveyed wives about their marital contentment and assessed their husbands' looks. Although attractiveness criteria varied subjectively, the findings were intriguing.

The data suggested that husbands deemed less attractive were more inclined to engage in acts of kindness—think thoughtful gifts, intimate gestures, and even household chores.

Let’s focus on the intimacy aspect.

I’ve long believed that less attractive men can be more satisfying lovers. In conversations with friends and family, many echoed this sentiment, describing their partners as generous and attentive. They often used terms like “more giving” rather than “self-centered.” (For clarity, this suggests a higher likelihood of oral intimacy.)

Interestingly, the study also indicated that when husbands were rated as more attractive than their wives, the latter reported feeling undervalued in their relationships. This dynamic led to increased pressure on women to maintain their appearance, which can create a less enjoyable experience in the relationship.

There are additional reasons to consider dating a non-conventionally attractive man. Another study noted that more attractive individuals tend to have shorter relationships, primarily due to infidelity. In this research, married men rated the attractiveness of various women, revealing that those perceived as handsome were more likely to express interest in other women, unlike their less attractive counterparts.

This aligns with a broader trend observed in studies linking physical attractiveness to relationship instability. Numerous studies have shown that attractive men are often more prone to cheating, attributed to higher testosterone levels.

Speaking of biological factors, if you’re interested in starting a family, research suggests that less attractive men may have better fertility outcomes. Attractive men often have lower sperm counts due to their active sexual lives, making it challenging for them to focus on one partner. In contrast, unattractive men may be more devoted to their partners.

Moreover, I believe that when women choose partners based on personality traits rather than physical appearance, it fosters a deeper connection. Women with attractive spouses may find themselves feeling unhappy, often because they prioritized looks over substance.

Personally, I’ve always been attracted to men who might not fit society’s conventional beauty standards. To me, attractive men resemble preserved butterflies—visually stunning yet ultimately lifeless. In contrast, less attractive men possess character and depth, showcasing their unique quirks. The French term "jolie laide" encapsulates this idea—finding beauty in what is deemed unattractive.

Average-looking men often possess an unspoken seduction secret: true attraction transcends physical appearance. They engage our senses—through scent, demeanor, confidence, intelligence, and, crucially, kindness. We are drawn to those who create a safe space for us to express ourselves.

So, ladies, consider embracing the man who will hold you close and share knowledge about the world while striving to improve it. That’s truly appealing.

About the Author

Carlyn Beccia is an accomplished author, illustrator, and speaker whose works, including The Raucous Royals and They Lost Their Heads, have received multiple awards such as the Golden Kite Honor and the Cybil Award. For more details, visit www.CarlynBeccia.com.

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