Chapter 1: A Journey Begins

Life can surprise you with the wisdom it offers when you least expect it.

This narrative takes us back to a time when I, as a college student, stumbled upon the concept of a growth mindset. It all begins at the intersection of personal fears and challenges.

Let’s face it: many can relate to the daunting task of public speaking. It's a common struggle that drives individuals to join groups like Toastmasters, seek professional help, or even rank it as their top fear (though I maintain that clowns are far more terrifying).

Very few individuals possess the natural ease to present in front of an audience without feeling anxious. Most of us must navigate our fears, a task that is often more complicated than it seems.

As for me, I eventually grew comfortable speaking publicly, but I started from a place of significant anxiety. My fear of public speaking was profound, but a summer job in my late teens introduced me to some transformative ideas.

During the latter part of my freshman year at college, financial struggles loomed large. I unexpectedly found myself interviewing for a summer job on campus and, with a bit of charm, secured a position as an Orientation Advisor. In the one-on-one interview, my nerves quieted, allowing my personality to shine through.

I was responsible for guiding incoming students about campus life and advising them on the engineering program prerequisites. Among the 18 advisors for various colleges, I was one of only two focusing on engineering students. The role offered a decent paycheck, and with discipline, I could save a significant amount for tuition. Plus, I enjoyed free accommodation in a vibrant college town over the summer—what a great opportunity!

People remarked on my luck—freshmen rarely landed such positions—and I felt fortunate until I learned the extent of public speaking required.

I was tasked with delivering lengthy presentations to groups of 20 to 24 students throughout the summer, along with shorter talks for their parents. To add to the pressure, I drew a major role in an end-of-day skit—an over-the-top dramatization about campus life that was as predictable as it was cheesy.

I had not acted since elementary school, and despite possessing a deep voice, my speaking abilities were far from impressive. It felt as though I had squandered a golden opportunity before it even began.

My supervisor, T.P. (anonymity preserved), was a somewhat abrasive faculty member overseeing the Orientation program. He reassured me that his intention was not to see me fail.

To be honest, T.P. could be quite difficult. Yet, sometimes, those who challenge us provide the most valuable lessons.

He offered me critical advice that has resonated with me ever since: rather than suppressing my anxiety, I should channel that nervous energy into delivering my presentations and the corny lines from the skit with heightened enthusiasm and focus.

This perspective was eye-opening. Determined not to fail, I embraced his advice—even if he wasn’t my favorite person. I became loud, energetic, and animated, using my anxiety as fuel rather than allowing it to hinder me.

And I excelled—throughout the summer, I delivered my best performances.

This success led me to repeat the role the following year, and since then, public speaking has rarely fazed me. I now instinctively transform any self-doubting thoughts into positive energy.

Let’s break down what I learned. Although I had held various jobs during high school, this was likely my first true professional experience. From this summer job, I gleaned three important lessons:

1. Fear as a Guide:

   Fear can act as a natural compass in life. Unless faced with actual physical or emotional threats, fear often directs us towards growth. By examining our situations from multiple angles, we can better understand ourselves and foster continuous improvement.

2. Learning from Everyone:

   You don’t need to like someone to learn from them. I wasn’t fond of T.P., but I remained open-minded enough to absorb his insights. It’s crucial to set aside personal biases and embrace lessons from all individuals, regardless of our feelings towards them.

3. Embracing Anxiety:

   Instead of shying away from what makes you anxious, learn to perform alongside your fears. If I had continued to avoid public speaking, I would have missed out on developing a vital skill. I faced my fear head-on, grew familiar with it, and ultimately embraced it.

By mastering and training my anxiety like a challenging pet, I found it liberating. This experience empowered me to feel unstoppable and in control.

At that time, I didn’t realize the lessons taking root within me; I was merely a college student trying to earn some cash for the next school year. However, that summer experience instilled principles that still shape my identity today.

I now navigate life with fear as my GPS.

I remain open to learning from anyone, even those I might not like.

I engage with anxiety rather than retreat from it.

What unexpected lessons have you discovered, and how have they impacted your life?

Adrian S. Potter, the socially awkward extrovert, is an author, engineer, consultant, and public speaker. He crafts poetry, short stories, and articles on creativity, leadership, and personal development. Potter is the author of the upcoming works "Fractured Epiphanies" (Stillhouse Press) and "Everything Wrong Feels Right" (Portage Press). For more, visit http://adrianspotter.com/.