Chapter 1: The Inherent Drive for Inquiry

Throughout history, the urge to explore scientific concepts is ingrained in humanity, transcending boundaries of time and culture. This curiosity has been essential for our survival and is fundamentally our birthright. When we allow indifference, negligence, incompetence, or fear of skepticism to stifle children's engagement with science, we rob them of the essential tools they need to navigate their futures.

"A proclivity for science is embedded deeply within us, in all times, places and cultures. It has been the means for our survival. It is our birthright. When, through indifference, inattention, incompetence, or fear of skepticism, we discourage children from science, we are disenfranchising them, taking from them the tools needed to manage their future."

— Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark

As a child, I once questioned, "Mom, why do people across the globe have such diverse appearances?" She replied, "Because we're all descendants of Noah's three sons, each of whom had a different skin color."

I contemplated this. "But how could Noah have three sons of varying skin tones? Why just three? Is it significant? Could it happen to anyone, or only Noah? And—"

"God can do anything, so why ask?" she interjected, returning to her task.

This terse response conveyed an important lesson: questions equate to doubt, and doubt is unwelcome. My innocent curiosity paled in comparison to divine omniscience. Unbeknownst to me, this mysterious God, seemingly irritated by questions, would increasingly obscure my understanding of the world.

Like many journeys of self-exploration, mine began innocently. I roamed rainforests searching for ruins on my way home from school and imagined traversing galaxies on my bike in the evenings. While others engaged in typical childhood activities, I preferred to dismantle electronics, swapping Tinkerbell for tinkering. My parents supported my thirst for discovery with trips to the library and bedtime stories. However, as I grew older, my innocent inquiries faced increasing resistance.

Questions regarding God, the Bible, or the Church were met with concerned expressions from elders and a spot on the prayer list. Doubt became a source of shame, and my confusion over complex theological concepts made me feel inadequate. Frequent gaslighting led me to second-guess my own thoughts. Yet, there is a certain relief in relinquishing control of your life; it shifts the burden to someone else, leaving you to simply follow directives. Thus, I complied: attending church every Sunday and Wednesday, excelling at a private Christian school, and, for the most part, feeling content. Then came college.

The first video explores the importance of asking significant questions about existence and our place in the universe, emphasizing the relevance of personal inquiry in understanding the cosmos.

Chapter 2: The Awakening in Academia

Fundamentalists often fear the college experience, a place filled with moral ambiguity where critical thinking and questioning are encouraged. As I navigated this new environment, the rigid foundations of religious indoctrination began to loosen with every new idea I encountered.

Reading Cosmos revealed to me that meaning can be sought outside conservative Christian frameworks. Listening to Freakonomics taught me how to analyze life through metrics and data. Watching Star Trek sparked my imagination about a future where scientific principles could address social inequalities. Captain Picard's bold inquiries instilled confidence in me to ask my own.

If every culture shares a flood narrative, does that imply an actual flood occurred, or does it reflect a universal human fear of the uncontrollable? How can I ascertain that my chosen path to God is authentic when others profess their own equally valid truths? Is the "presence of God" merely a term for our conditioned responses to awe?

The second video delves into the big questions of astronomy, illustrating how curiosity drives scientific inquiry and our understanding of the universe.

Chapter 3: Embracing Curiosity and Mental Health

It has been six years since I released the dogma of my upbringing, and for the most part, I've flourished. I discovered a partner who loves, supports, and respects me completely. My friends are more like family than my biological relatives ever were, and I have a fulfilling job that promotes a love for reading among children.

While this might seem like a dream life, my struggles continue to linger. I battle suicidal thoughts, depression, and, at times, overwhelming anxiety. In the past, I would have turned to church and prayer for solace, drowning in guilt and shame that could have led to dire consequences. Now, I cherish understanding. I seek medical help, take prescribed medications, and consult with a therapist. Above all, I nurture my curiosity, knowing there is always something new to learn, and I intend to be here to discover it.