# Taking Necessary Pauses After Surviving a Suicide Attempt
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Chapter 1: The Importance of Pausing
Years ago, a stranger shared a profound insight with me: "In life, we encounter pauses. You can choose to pause, or life will impose one on you." This statement resonates deeply, especially after my own experiences.
Last year, I endured four suicide attempts, with one landing me in an Emergency Room just before my 29th birthday. How did I reach this point? Nearly two decades spent battling invisible mental illnesses left me exhausted and hopeless, despite appearing to function well in various aspects of my life.
It's essential to recognize that mental illness is not the sole reason behind suicide attempts. Factors like overwhelming stress, low self-worth, grief, heartbreak, and chronic pain can contribute just as much. While we may face different triggers, surviving an attempt often leads us to a shared experience: navigating a world that doesn't quite understand us and seeking rapid fixes for our struggles.
Although I can't claim to have definitive answers for preventing suicide, I can speak to the necessity of what comes after an attempt. The cycle of hospital visits, medications, and then pretending nothing happened is unsustainable. Returning to life as usual fails to address the underlying issues. I have often pressed forward, striving to maintain a facade of normalcy, only to find myself back in despair.
After each attempt, I realized I needed to pause. Pausing means temporarily stepping back from life’s demands to focus on the areas that require healing. The World Health Organization identifies previous suicide attempts as the most significant predictor of future attempts, underscoring the need for intentional pauses in our lives.
Suicide IS Preventable | Shawna Percy | TEDxUW - YouTube
Shawna Percy discusses the preventable nature of suicide, emphasizing the importance of support and resources in overcoming crises.
After surviving my first attempt, I felt a mix of gratitude and hope, promising myself I would never return to that dark place. Yet, I couldn't keep that promise. Over time, I battled feelings of guilt for putting my loved ones through distress and embarrassment for my failed attempts.
There were moments of anger after surviving when I wished I had not lived. Today, I find myself in a complex emotional landscape, grateful to be alive yet burdened by the weight of my circumstances. The conflicting feelings of wanting to thrive in life while questioning why I remain here can be overwhelming.
Section 1.1: Understanding the Need for a Pause
If you can relate, you likely embody the traits of a high-functioning individual—independent, reliable, and often perceived as strong. However, this facade can mask deep struggles and prevent us from seeking the help we need.
A pause is vital to recharge our emotional batteries, allowing us to distance ourselves from stressors and cultivate a support network. Many of us experience relapses, and having a safety net can be crucial for recovery.
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Section 1.2: Five Essential Forms of Pausing
The ability to pause often hinges on one's societal privileges. Here are five practical strategies for incorporating pauses into your life:
Temporary Relinquishment of Responsibilities
Letting go of responsibilities can feel daunting, especially if you’ve tied your self-worth to productivity. However, taking a medical leave from work or school can provide the space needed for recovery.
Freezing Major Life Decisions
Avoid making significant life changes during this time. Decisions like relocating, changing jobs, or starting a family require energy that you may not have. Remember, this is a temporary pause, not a halt to all progress.
Halting Relationships
Some relationships may become overwhelming after an attempt. It's perfectly acceptable to take a break from dating or even from friends and family to focus on your well-being.
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Engaging in Intensive Treatment
Seek out therapy, particularly outpatient programs tailored for those who have recently faced suicidal crises. These programs can offer skills and community support that are invaluable for recovery.
Building Something Meaningful
Use this time to nurture neglected passions. Whether it's gardening, art, or community service, engaging in meaningful activities can foster resilience and joy.
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Chapter 2: The Weight of Guilt in Pausing
Despite my commitment to taking breaks, I often feel guilt about needing time away from my regular responsibilities. This guilt can stem from a sense of inadequacy or shame regarding where I find myself in life.
Embracing Life After Attempted Suicide - YouTube
This video discusses the journey of embracing life after a suicide attempt, highlighting the importance of support, understanding, and acceptance.
Acknowledging that these feelings of guilt may not dissipate is crucial. Instead, we can learn to navigate through them while prioritizing our health and well-being.
In closing, if you’ve recently survived a suicide attempt, know that your existence matters. We must engage in open conversations about this topic and seek support. Silence can contribute to the ongoing crisis. Let’s break that silence, ask questions, and reach out for help or extend our hands to others in need.
Together, we can work towards reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and build a community that supports recovery.